Why America Should Support A Gay Agenda To Help China Resolve An Unprecedented Demographic Crisis

If we read in the annals of China that several thousand years ago, five thousand people were fed on one sandwich, and that several sandwiches were left over after the feast, there are few intelligent men who would credit the statement. But many intelligent people, reading a like story in Hebrew, or in Greek, or in a mistranslation from either of those languages, accept the story without a doubt.

Robert G. Ingersoll, Myth and Miracle, 1885

If we today exhibit the same skepticism toward news out of China as Ingersoll credited to the men and women of his time regarding a certain miracle account, we will readily dismiss a news item about China concerning gender imbalance. However, unlike the mind-boggling claims for multiplying  fish sandwiches from Hebrew and Greek sources, the tale I’m about to reveal is quite demonstrably true. After all, it appeared not as an urban legend e-mail, but as a front-page story in the Wall Street Journal!  (See Mei Fong, "It's Cold Cash, Not Cold Feet, Motivating Runaway Brides in China," Wall Street Journal, June 5, 2009, A1.)

Here is the basic story. According to Mr. Fong, an Asian sector reporter for the WSJ, there are 32 million more males under the age of 20 in China than females. A large number are in or near marrying age. The guys are looking around and finding slim pickings. The figures reported are based upon the 2005 China census, and were published in the May edition of the British Journal of Medicine. What this means is that a horny young male surplus approximately the size of Canada's entire population is getting mighty restless, and cold showers can only go so far in relieving tensions, if you get my drift. These people are thinking about their future and their families are adding to the pressure by asking questions, such as “Why don’t you find yourself a mate? Are you planning on living at home forever?”

In short, a gender crisis due to the country’s Draconian 30-year one-child policy has created a serious problem, one that adds to the nation’s many other problems. (These include but are not limited to an impending nationwide water shortage, high unemployment due to mass migrations from rural to urban centers, poor grain production, wide income gaps, excessive energy consumption, wasting of natural resources and environmental pollution—plus the fact that the government remains a totalitarian dictatorship blocking personal freedoms and abusing human rights.) The population control policy, combined with the fact that cultural norms in China highly valued male babies, created the disastrous social perturbation now tormenting young Chinese males.

So, what is China to do?

Before offering my gay agenda solution, I should mention that a new profession has opened up for ethically-challenged young women—that of bride for a week or so. It seems that the traditional dowry paid by the groom’s family has skyrocketed in value. The going rate for a bride is now about $5,500—that’s 38,000 yuan, enough to lure cartels of bride traders into existence to prey on the smitten husband marks.

The solution is to go around the predatory females. This is simple enough if the Chinese are willing to overcome their prejudice against homosexuality. All they have to do is embrace what the Family Research Council in this country has called “the hidden gay agenda” since 1992. Others, such as U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia (in a dissent in “Lawrence v. Texas”), call this nefarious conspiracy simply as “the homosexual agenda.” Either way or some other way (term), this entails (among other things) “eliminating the moral opprobrium traditionally associated with homosexual conduct.” Well, I’m all in favor of that—who needs opprobrium associated with anything involving people engaging in whatever it is they want to engage in that is no business of others, and that affects none other? That seems like a good thing to me. If the Chinese males can find happiness among themselves without any of that opprobrium nastiness following them around, well, who could object? Does China have a population of Jerry Falwell/Pat Robertson/James Dobson/Rick Warren troglodyte types?

Other goals that our own Christian Right attribute to this nefarious agenda are universal acceptance of the gay lifestyle, discrediting of scriptures that condemn homosexuality, muzzling of the clergy and Christian media, indoctrinating children and future generations through public education and securing all the legal benefits of marriage for any two or more people who claim to have homosexual tendencies. I think all of these agenda items are highly desirable. Don’t Christian and other sectarian schools indoctrinate children? If the gays want to have a go at trying to do what religions have always and continue to do, well, that seems fair enough. I certainly favor an agenda, gay or otherwise, in this country, China and elsewhere, that seeks to
promote acceptance of any lifestyle one chooses—that’s the kind of thing you expect in a free society. I definitely favor discrediting of scriptures that condemn homosexuality and I would love to muzzle violations of church/state separation by the clergy and Christian media. Finally, I want everyone to have the kind of equal rights that are enshrined in our own Constitution, including the young males (and those two-timing, absconding young females) in China. 

These supposed scary aspects of the boogeyman “gay agenda” sound pretty good to me, and I’m not even gay, not that there’s anything wrong with that, as we learned watching Seinfeld a few years ago.

So, my Well Infidel recommendation to Chinese youth: Consider switching teams. After a while, those inflated dowries will come down in cost and the brides may decide to stick around, if there are any young Chinese males still interested in them.

Be well.

Comments

[Bob Woldul]

I did warn, many months ago, that the right wing in this country was extremely dangerous and poised for violence.

No one acknowledged that warning, and a few came close to ridiculing it. Now even mainstream progressives, including Krugman and Rich, are alarmed.

For good reason. The right wing in the U.S. has escalated to collective insanity. Pernicious theocratic fascism is alive and well, and armed to the teeth. How much more goading from Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Michael Savage, Chuck Norris, Patrick Buchanan, Newt Gingrich, et al. is it going to take to set these people off? Of course the really serious agitation is coming from the Internet.

The sorry thing is they are truly nuts -- almost all their grievances are in their own minds and have little or nothing to do with reality. Likening stem cell research to the holocaust is just one example of their flaming insanity. Calling Obama a socialist AND a fascist is another example of collective derangement.

So here's another prediction: we are perilously close to an outbreak of domestic terrorism. This nation is hopelessly divided between those who claim to know the revealed truth and the reality-based community. The former are totally inoculated against evidence and reason. They are violent, revolutionary, extremist ideologues. The sorry thing is they have enablers in the mass media, primarily Fox News, but many others as well.

We live in very dangerous times. We could be on the brink of another civil war.

I take no pleasure in pointing that out. But please, no ridicule: I want to be wrong, so show me some evidence that I am.

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